Left CLueless

BLUEMEM #1-When I asked them why?, “because he overdosed” was their reply
 HE OD'D! As if a nine year old was really supposed to understand what that acronym stood for! My sisters told me that he Over Dosed on drugs. I wasn't exactly sure what that meant, but I was aware of the fact that he was not going to come back. He left for college with a bright future ahead of him only to send a dark cloud back through my front door with the news of his death. I didn’t want it to be true and dealt with the pain by watching old videos of him. He was so happy; always laughing, dancing, and playing with his dog. He always invited me over to his house and we even shared the same favorite color. Did I mention that he was great at solving problems? He could find out the answer to any riddle, any mystery, he was a real investigator! I mean he could sit in his chair for no more than 30 short seconds and figure out anything with a given set of CLUES.

                 The shock of his death really took a toll on me. School kept me busy during the daytime but once I got home I didn't know what to do with myself. My sisters had little to no sympathy for me. They would constantly remind me of his death whenever they had the chance and got great joy out of seeing me cry and run to my mother's room. My mother didn't seem to care that much about his death either. She would just dry my tears and angrily tell my sisters to stop provoking me.(BUT of course they never stopped!). I felt so alone in the world; I lost a good friend and no one seemed to care.

                 It took me a long time to a come to terms with his death, but once I was able to do so, life became a lot easier and joyful. Looking back at it now, I guess I can understand why my sisters chose to provoke me so much or why my mother always seemed so nonchalant about the situation. I was essentially creating a huge fuss over an actor on a children's show that in reality was not really dead; Steve from Blue's Clues. In his piece "An Introduction to the Blogs," Barlow argues that humans prefer their real lives no matter how limited or bad it is over the "second life (a virtual world that mimics real world living)." I disagree with this idea because had I been exposed to another life that would have allowed Steve from Blue's clues to live and continue to be in my life, I would have surely preferred to devout most of my time to that world.  I personally believe that when faced with a decision most people like to choose the option that makes them the most comfortable.  In my life during the time when I thought Steve was dead I know I would have opted for the life with him rather than without.

     

         

                         R.I.P. STEVE 

You left me to solve my own problems in the world; you left me clueless. Even though your not really dead, I really did believe you were dead for a long time. You bring back nothing but blue rose memories.

Your Friend,

    Shanna