Empty Halls

BlueMem #5 That overwhelming feeling of disappointment when the light at the end of the tunnel is only a room full of fire

               Okay, so one of the most anticipated occurrences in my life would have to be my transition from junior high into high school. My older sister was three years older me and  was going to be a senior in her high school while I was just entering. Her experience in high school was straight out of a movie. She had great grades, was on the cheerleading team, practically knew the whole school, and had “the life of the party” kind of personality. She wanted me to go to her high school, but I decided not to; I didn’t want to be in her shadow. In New York City, most junior high students have to go though an application process to get into the high school of their choice. We get a huge textbook of all the high schools in the city and in this book is a detailed description of the school what it has to offer as far as clubs and extracurricular activities and where it is located. So....Long story short, I didn’t get into my first choice high school and had to settle on my second choice. I was not familiar at all with what was going to be my new high school, but I was still excited. 

               Before I ever seen what would be my new school, I had already planned out how life was going to be for me in my high school. Like my sister, I was going to be on the cheerleading team, have great grades, be a part of as many clubs as possible, and have lots of friends. Like the social network Second Life (a virtual world that mimics living in the physical world), I had created  a hypothetical life (not in a virtual world but in my head) on how the next fours years of my life would be and it looked promising. 

               When I walked into my high school for the first time my expectations were not met, not in the slightest bit. My fantasy of a high school turned out to be one floor inside the building of another school, there were no lockers and whenever I went from one class to the next the hallways were extremely crowded. Over the next four years after I began to  make new friends and become more involved in extracurricular activities, high school got a little better but not that much. I had such high expectations for my life in high school and when they were not met all I wanted to do was hurry up and graduate. My school did not have that many clubs to join, nor did it have any sports team. I got the good grades that I wanted, but everything else I anticipated turned out to be such a disappointment.